Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
