Redeem this text for a blowjob
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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