I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
