wrigley field is MILF paradise
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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