I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
