So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
