Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
