you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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