im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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