So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
