hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
