Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
