Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Randomize
