to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
