Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
