Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
