what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
