Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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