He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
