put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
My ATM looks so different sober.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
