hotel room ftw
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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