Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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