Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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