How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize