Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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