i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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