Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
