I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
