there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
