nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
