all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
