Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
