Can i not drive my cunt home
...so i touched it.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
