He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
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