I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
