Do you still have your period?
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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