haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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