just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
