SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
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