I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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