Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
