I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
