Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
