So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
