you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
