So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
