$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
