Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Hippo gnu deer
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
