I can tuck mytits in my pants
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Sorry about my life...
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