Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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